For The Dogging Exhibitionist
Or as we have heard it described "For Players and Displayers"
Why do we need an etiquette for what is after all a practice on the fringes of legality?
People are keen to stop us having fun;
- The newspapers love to expose people in the scene. Its cheap sensational copy to help them sell their cheap rags.
- The local councils are trying to close dogging sites because of the mess that is often left behind and the damage that some people cause to the surroundings.
- The polices often interrupt events, sometimes because of complaints from the public when people are being to daring, sometimes because people are playing close to schools or youth clubs, sometimes because doggers are playing in a known "Cottaging" area and sometimes because the area is used by prostitutes.
- Some because of religious beliefs who cannot tolerate people enjoying themselves.
Our only response to the above is to behave responsibly, but still have fun.
Keeping a low Profile
We have created a set of suggestions which should enable you to be safe, have fun and not cause a public nuisance and draw the wrong kind of attention to your dogging activities.
- Personal Safety: As we suggested in the "Safety When Dogging" section, you should talk to your partner before you go out to play. Define the boundaries on what each of you is allowed to do and not allowed to do.
- Choosing Location: Make sure that you choose a location where you feel comfortable. Visit during daylight to check the proximity of escape routes for your safety. Check it is not overlooked by schools (many hold night classes), churches, clubs and pubs. Unless you want to be watched by big brother, check that there are no security cameras covering the area. Check the cleanliness, if the area is strewn with used condoms and tissues, it is an open invitation to the police to come and check what is going on. Used condoms could also be a sign of use by prostitutes. Check the "Dogging Locations" pages to find recognised dogging areas.
- Directions: If you are arranging to meet people, make sure you have given them clear simple instructions on finding the play area and a means of identifying you when they get there.
- Punctuality: Try to be on time, or call the person you are meeting to tell them you will be late. People are unlikely to hang around in a dogging area to long in case they are being set up.
- Play Box: Create a play kit to take with you. Make sure you keep a supply of things to make you playtime more enjoyable - A Blanket or Travel Rug, A Pillow or Cushion, (stony car parks and the hard metal of cars soon turns fun to discomfort), A Torch to see what's going on, Breath Mints or Spray, Condoms, Lubricants, and then for afterwards, wet wipes and tissues and a garbage bag to take the rubbish home. It is also a good idea to carry a pen and notepad to take details of people you might want to meet again, or do what we do and carry a business card (see picture at bottom of screen) with our details so that we can hand them to people we want to meet again.
- Signalling: If you are meeting for a private tryst, you should agree a signal beforehand. If you are visiting a dogging area for
some sex with Swingers in Leeds, then you need to signal your availability.
- Flashing your headlights or leaving the inside light on is the accepted signals to let voyeurs you are ready to play and want to be watched.
- Be discrete. Only flash your headlights once, then wait a while before flashing again. Flashing them continuously will look like a distress signal
- To invite the watchers to come closer or join in - roll down the windows.
- Let people know you are having fun. Be enthusiastic, if people can see you are having fun they will enjoy the show, the more they enjoy the show the more you will get off on watching them wank, a win-win for everyone.
- When you have finished having fun, thank the crowd, tell them the show is over, pack up and leave.
- Be in Control: You are "Dogging" for your fun. Don't let anyone, not even your partner push you into doing something you do not want to do.
- If a voyeur is being to pushy, tell them to back off.
- If you or your partner feel uncomfortable or either of you use your safe word, stop the show, apologise to the watchers and pack up.
- If you ever feel in danger, leave immediately, leave your kit behind, just get to safety.
- Replay: If you meet someone that you would like to meet again, exchange email addresses or give them the number of your "Play Phone". Never give out your home telephone number or address until you have got to know the person well.
- Keep Britain Tidy: Make sure that you collect all your litter, bag up all the condoms, wrappers, wet wipes, tissues, etc. and dispose of them in a rubbish bin at the site or when you get home.
- Be Aware: When you leave, make sure you are not followed. Stop off somewhere public for a drink or a burger, or pop into an all night store for 15 minutes. Check the car park for the cars of any of the people involved in your session. If you think you are being followed just drive to a police station, and tell them you think you are being followed.
Dogging Etiquette - Voyeurs
A voyeur is someone who enjoys watching other people having sex. They may also join in sometimes.
- Cleanliness: Make sure you are clean and tidy before you go to a dogging location. A scruffy appearance or smelly body is a major turn off for most women. So if you want to be allowed to join in make sure you are clean and tidy. Even if you just want to stand and watch you should look presentable, or you could frighten the exhibitionists away.
- Approach With Caution: Unless you have seen people signalling for people to join them, do not approach parked cars. You could be disturbing someone parked up innocently or a private tryst. You could also earn a thump for your peeping.
- Patience: Don't rush up to cars as soon as they pull into the play area. Wait for the people to prepare themselves and to signal that they are ready to play.
- Know The Signals:
- A flash of the headlights means they are there to play and to be watched or possibly joined for sex.
- A flash of the interior light, or the interior light left on means that they are ready to be watched. But still approach with caution, it could be someone who has lost their way and is checking a map.
- If they roll the window down you have been invited to come closer. It may also mean that you are allowed to touch.
- If you touch and your hand is not pushed away it means you may continue to touch.
- If you touch and you are pushed away or if either of the players say "No" or "Stop" - Stop immediately. Any contact by you from this point would be sexual assault.
- Enjoy the show and let the people know you are enjoying the show, but do so politely and quietly so that you do not destroy the show. If you are not enjoying the action, quietly move along to another couple. Just because the action is not what you enjoy, does not mean that others are not enjoying it.
- If a couple ask you to leave, do so without kicking up a fuss. They may be there for a private tryst or want someone older, younger, taller, shorter etc. Just move along to the next scene until you find a place where both you and the exhibitionists are happy.
- Make sure that when you are watching you are not blocking the view of others.
- Park tidily so that others can have easy access in and out of the car park.
- When you arrive at a play area park up and then watch a few minutes to see what action is happening.
- Clean Up! Don't leave any rubbish behind. Pick up any used condoms, tissues, wrappers or other rubbish.
- When the show is over, thank the players, leave their area and let them clean up and leave in peace.
- If you all got along well, offer them your email address, preferably have some business cards made up with your details so that people don't have to try and find pens and paper. (see a sample of our card below)